


A Day Out With Tamaki

by seataco



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 22:09:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5308895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seataco/pseuds/seataco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tamaki appears in your house one day with every intention of taking you on a romantic date. What could go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Day Out With Tamaki

It was that nice hour of the morning. You didn't have anywhere to be, your bed was comfortable, and you were awake but still sleepy. Everything was peaceful. With your eyes still squeezed shut, you burrowed your head farther into the pillow and let out a sigh of contentment. No sooner had you done so, when you felt a slight tickle on your face. You reached your hand up to brush it away and it something solid. Your eyes flew open as you screamed. 

"SENPAI?! WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Gooooood morning [y/n]" Tamaki sang, his face inches from yours. He had a dopey grin on his face and his eyes seemed unfocused. 

You desperately tried to shove him off of you, but he wouldn't budge. "What are you doing here? How did you get into my house?"

Tamaki wordlessly gestured to the broken window. 

You sighed and tried not to scream. That has explained how Tamaki had entered, but you still didn't know why. All of a sudden, he bounced off of the bed and threw something at you. "Get dressed. We're going out. Happy Halloween."

"But senpai, it's the middle of June. It's not Halloween."

Tamaki's face fell and you expected him to go sulk in the corner. His expression stayed frozen for a few seconds before that same dopey grin from before returned to his face. He picked the outfit off of you, got in position, and then threw it back onto you. "Get dressed. We're going out. Happy Halloween." 

You were starting to get scared at this point, but you went to the bathroom and changed as Tamaki had demanded. You unfolded the clothing and noticed he had picked out... A chefs outfit? It wasn't sexy or revealing in the slightest, which was unlike Tamaki. You put it on anyway, and returned to your room. In your absence, Tamaki had changed as well. He had drawn a goatee on his face in brown sharpie and had spiked his pale blond hair with the use of a bottle of elmers glue he had found in your desk and a headband. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt covered in flames. He quickly donned a pair of sunglasses when he saw you and struck a pose. "How do I look?"

"Senpai, why did you put GLUE in your hair? You know that's going to take forever to get out, right?" 

Tamaki blinked at you a few times. At least, you think he did. It was hard to tell with the sunglasses. His face slowly grew more and more red before he snapped. He pulled a plastic squeaky spatula out from his back pocket and hit you with it. It didn't hurt at all, which seemed to infuriate him more. "FALL OVER" he screamed. 

You slowly sink to your knees and then flopped on the ground, letting out a few coughs for good measure. 

He stood overtop of you, staring down. "[y/n], HOW. DO. I. LOOK?"

"You look amazing, senpai." You said quickly, before he attacked you with that terrifying spatula again. 

Your response seemed to please him. "Then let us depart, mon amie" he helped you to your feet and led you out of your apartment, toward a fire engine red convertible sitting out front. He opened the passenger door for you and gave an exaggerated bow. You sat down in the car, and rather than walking around it to enter the drivers side, Tamaki merely climbed over you to get to his side of the car. He started the ignition and pulled his sunglasses off with a flourish. "Next stop, flavortown."

Before you had a chance to ask what exactly that meant, he had floored it. The speedometer didn't go below 90 the entire drive, and you thought for sure Tamaki was going to get you killed. By some miracle, however, you both arrived intact outside of a small brick restaurant. 

"Guy Fieri's Japan Location Bar and Grill? Is this like a fancy tuna shop?" You asked him, slightly afraid for his reaction. 

Tamaki was posing again, this time on the hood of the car. "No, my darling sweet uncultured [y/n]. This is better. This place serves..." He made a dramatic gesture. "AMERICAN FOOD."

"...what" 

He didn't bother explaining, but instead led you inside. The place was deserted, and had appeared to be for some time. Tamaki led you to the only table in the restaurant and pulled out a wobbly chair for you. "Now what will you be having this fine night?"

"Tamaki, it's 11 in the morning."

Tamaki did the slow blinking this again. "WHAT WILL YOU BE HAVING THIS FINE NIGHT?" He screeched toward the ceiling, sounding slightly like a vulture. 

"I-I'll just have ramen or something" you said quickly, covering your ears to protect yourself from the senpai's furious noises. 

He instantly calmed down again. "Okay, the 'cheeseburger' it is!" 

He flounced back to the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a pile of slop. He presented it to you in his normal dramatic fashion and proceeded to sit across from you and wait in anticipation for you to take your first bites. 

It truly looked revolting. There were spots of mold covering what appeared to be meat, and there was a hunk of cheese slapped onto the side. That was it. That was everything. It jiggled when you poked it with a fork. 

You took a small bite of it and immediately spat it back out. 

Tamaki was not pleased. 

He pushed you out of the chair and onto the floor. He gave you a chance to get to your feet before he began attacking you with the spatula. His assault was relentless. You had no other choice. You had to defend yourself. "Tamaki, enough!" You screamed as you kicked him in the chest. 

Tamaki stumbled backwards, clutching his chest. All of a sudden, he collapsed on the floor and began twitching. Finally, he fell still. About 100 rats ran out from under the flaming Hawaiian shirt, and nothing but a pile of empty clothes was left.


End file.
